Friday Gossip & Music.

This week’s gossip.

It’s been a ( another ) funny old week in the land of make believe and other believable stuff.

Apparently that fella from Spain turned us down because he’d miss his mummy to much, which is commendable for obviously obvious reasons because we all love our mummy, passed over or still ticking. When pressed by one of my overseas reporters on what is the real reason …he opened up to say, he loves his family very, very much and would have brought the entire brood over, including his granny. He said he was aware the granny fiddler was back in the country so couldn’t risk his granny being granny fiddled by Shrek.

So there you have it folks, the real and genuine reason why the mummy’s boy didn’t sign for Liverpool. Yet another world exclusive from the 4Kk Newsroom………. You heard ( or read 🤷) it here first.

In other gossip,

A video is circulating online about a cyclist ( Stu ) being attacked by four hoodlums on mopeds. The cyclist ( Stu ) was thrown off of his bike, the cyclist ( Stu ) was proper, like I mean proper annoyed at this and sprayed the fookers with red dye. After the event one of my south of Liverpool reporter’s caught up with the cyclist ( Stu ) to ask how he did it and how he’s feeling now?

The cyclist ( Stu ) , whom can’t be named for obviously obvious reasons said, ” Well fook me twice on Sunday’s. I was only riding down the road…..at speed……..granted, it’s this new engine thingy I have attached to beat the 10 year olds if Red ever gets the fooking cycling championship running again…..anyway, I digress. Yeah I was whooping it down the street n these fookers knocked me off me bike. I was like…..I’m not having that n sprayed the bitches with my red dye. I’m actually upset to be fair because I’ve just bought a model boat that I wanted to spray red.”

My south of Liverpool reporter was a bit shocked by the revelations, especially spraying a boat red, but hey that’s allowed, apparently.

All ended well, the cyclist ( Stu ) was donated a new bicycle by Asif….which he fell off,

obviously, this is Stu falling off…..again, not Asif. Asif rides a 🐴.

As this was such a traumatic experience I’ve personally set up a go fund me site where you can donate lots and lots of 💰 for the good cause of completing the build of my mansion. You can donate by sending your hard earned Dosh to # go fund a scammer @ you know what ya doing . Com.

Next doors 🐈is running out of pussy food…don’t be rude.

So the new season starts tonight and the very financially fugal reds begin their defence of 3rd place tomorrow. But look on the bright side, this article will only be relevant for a day, which is a blessing for obviously obvious reasons.

Get ya Goss in before it’s to late, or pop in a few tunes instead .

Hit it!