Friday Gossip & Music.

This weeks gossip,

After an embarrassing performance in the Merseyside derby David ( Skeletor ) Moyes has said he’ll read the rulebook….well it’s only taken the daft git decades to realise he knows nothing about football, the wanker.

Slot has mentioned he likes Moyes and then said it was a straight red for the BlueShite Gobshite that savagely attacked Macca.

The orange turd was playing with his colouring book of the map of Earth and thought, let’s colour this in and let’s colour that in and add some figures just for fun. He coloured in a small island inhabited by penguins and wrote a figure next to it, well he couldn’t write on it because it’s way to small. Though prior to this he did call his besty Valarie to ask where Russia was on the map…. hence the colouring in of a small island inhabited by penguins. The thick as fook orange cunt.

In other gossip ,

Next doors cat and I were walking along the canal the other day and we came across some ducks, happily playing in the water. They looked so happy in the bright sunshine. They were diving under the water and surfacing again, then shaking their feathers to rid themselves of excess water. It was so cute to see.

Next doors cat looked up at me and asked, ” Shall I, can I?”. I looked down to see her innocent little eyes staring right back at me. I pondered for a moment before replying, “Oh go on then.” So she shot one. We had it for Sunday dinner, it was lovely.

Sally was chatting to Stu yesterday about something or other. Daisy the boxer dog could hear every word. She was like, “Omg, I’m calling Kitty”

Daisy dialed next door’s cat’s number. Next door’s cat answered. Daisy said, “Kitty ( that’s Daisy’s nickname name for her if you hadn’t already guessed. ) you’re not going to believe this……………..”

Next doors cat replied, ” You’re kidding, right?” She hung up the phone and came over to my place. She said, “Red, you’re not going to believe this……………” I was like, “Is that legal?” Next door’s cat answered, “How would I know, I’m a cat.”

I can’t reveal what was spoken for obviously obvious reasons. This is a family site after all.

Asif called me this morning in a bit of a panic, “Have you seen Darwin?” I replied, ” How the fook would I have seen your horse?………only kidding brother Asif, he’s in my local getting ratted with next door but one’s dog. You’d better get out your horse trailer n pick the drunken fooker up.”

Asif said he’d be here in a couple of hours. Its quite a distance from the mountains of Birmingham to Liverpool ya know. Darwin was proper ratted when Asif showed up. Next door but one’s dog was pretty fooked too.

Anyfookingway, get ya Goss in or play some music instead. Do both if you’re bilingual.

Hit it!