Depression.
Before I begin I need to mention I wrote this in 2009/ 10. I’m not completely sure and the content, as written is how I felt back then. I will post this word for word as I wrote it back then………….
Depression.
Depression is a illness that can float upon a breeze, not showing itself within a mind. Depression can rise, almost without knowing within the mind and body that ultimately will suffer.
The ocean tide, the ebbs and flows in a mind that is not healthy can at times be calm and surreal. All seems well for a time and one believes in the tranquility of the moment in time where one breathes easy and embraces the embodiment of life. This time can last forever in the desires of the sufferer, but this time is merely the calm before another storm embraces the mind so torn.
A ship can merely enjoy a voyage, with sails aloft and it’s steady and sturdy body gliding and sliding through the crisp and yet gentle waves. Storms may gather on the horizon and they may pass this ship by. One might think the storm is over. This particular storm has been abated and denied for this time.
The next storm to rock this boat may not be as forgiving as the last, yet one enters any storm and hopes for a safe passage through to continue its journey. In human terms with a human mind this voyage is the journey of life. No one wants or desires stormy seas to knock one off the path that would protect them or even enhance one’s life, but the mind of a human that is not particularly well needs little in the way of a rising storm within one’s mind to knock them off balance and to guide them in the wrong direction. They never see it coming, they merely attempt to ride out the storm until the waves become calm again. In the mind of a depressive then one does not realise the seas are so vicious before it is perhaps almost to late.
The ship of life, upon this violent ocean begins to tread water, the ship is beginning to sink, slowly but surely this ship is sinking. The ship that is the mind of a not to well person has lost its baring and is traveling so far off course. The sails that were once so strong have begun to bristle and wane, until they seer and snap. It is now alone in a place it knew not how it got to. It shouts for help and yet no one can hear. The shouts at first are not particularly loud, but he believes at first they are.
The ship is wilting towards its side as it witnesses the ocean ready to take it tongue depths of oblivion, which ultimately there is no return.
A ship (a person) can shout for help but he needs to be heard in order to be saved. If he is not heard then how can he be rescued from the turmoil within his own mind and soul.
Ships can take the wrong turning, not realising how quickly the storm is gathering without warning. It is only when the storm is all around and submerging the ship with water that it realises it took the wrong route.
The ship has gone, to the depths of the ocean floor, never to be seen again, never to be missed. After all there are so many ships out there to take this ships place. This ship wanted to be saved.
Depression has so many shapes and sizes, so many different branches that have different severities with this illness.
No one likes to admit it, no one likes people to see it as it’s a personal floor in the human brain and when that brain is yours then one believes one is not normal. One does not see what is happening until the ferocity of the storm is diminishing one’s mind. This time it could be too late.
Depression can be dealt with in many ways, be it therapy, be it medication. There are issues with both. How long does one use therapy and how long does one use medication?
Therapy, depending on the degree of depression and the recurrence of depression can be dealt with on its merits. I.E. short term depression can be dealt with, with short term therapy, which should work if one has merely encountered depression for a short time in their lives. Whereas habitual sufferers will undoubtedly need longer treatment, perhaps for the rest of their lives. This will not be easy for a sufferer to admit to as when a depressive is not suffering one always believes they are fine. This is never the case with long term depressives, but again the long term sufferer needs to appreciate they are long term depressives and when they believe they are not suffering, they need to realise they are, but to perhaps a lesser degree as the pain will always shortly return.
The other format is medication and again this could work on a short term basis and see the sufferer through. But for a long term sufferer this will merely numb the brain and have no lasting value for the person to come out of the other side. It will merely bring drug dependency. Therapy can be dependent too for the long for long the long term sufferer, but I believe one’s mind will be more independent with therapy, rather than a dose of drugs.
Before I finish, as you all know I wrote this before I got help. So here is the end of the post that I wrote over a decade ago…………
I am a long term depressives and I have never admitted it to myself or to others.
I will get my help. The wheels are already in motion to find my peace.
I hope to one day put these thoughts out in order to help others in the quest for as much a normal life as one can expect from being a depressive
Depressives can be positive, even when depressed. There is life with depression, it can be a beautiful life as long as we accept we are different and seek the help in order to manage this horrible illness.
Not a great topic I admit but I really wanted to share my thoughts with you.
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