Friday Gossip & Music.

This week’s gossip,

To be fair there hasn’t been much going on this week in the gossip columns but I did send one of my reporters to Plymouth to see how granny fiddler was faring down on the south coast.

Reports coming into the newsroom suggest he’s drinking shit loads of beer ( nothing wrong with that, obviously) and eating shit loads of takeaways ( don’t see much of an issue there either to be fair). Apparently his missus isn’t happy about the fat bastards eating and drinking habits. How do I know this? Well she actually called the 4KK news desk. Next door’s 🐈 answered n passed her on to me. I’ll scold that friggin cat later…if I can manoeuvre around those rather sharp claws of hers, not to mention the sniper rifle.

Anyfookingway, Granny fiddler’s missus asked for my help in the rehabilitation of her fat bastard husband. Well, what can I say? I was happy to oblige. I suggested he enrolled in a convent. He’ll be more than happy there, for obviously obvious reasons. I’m not sure why but that beaut hung up on me. ( By the way a beaut is completely the opposite of what non Scouser’s think a beaut is.)

But anyway, in other gossip,

Stu and Mike, Mike and Stu have become very close these days, riding the hills around Bath…or somewhere close to Bath…🤷. As I’ve reported before they are in training for the bicycle world championship trials which will be hosted…..by none other than yours truly in December. The trialists will be competing if they qualify in the BWC challenge in January 2025, which is obviously the month after December. How do I know this? Well December precedes January, obviously. Why the change of year though is any fooking ones guess🤷.

Anyway, I do digress…….a bit, but that’s only to paint a picture in words because….I’m digressing again n if you’ve read this far down then you have my condolences you silly sausages.

Fooksake, where was I? Oh yes, now I remember. Stu and Mike, Mike and Stu were riding their bicycles up a rather steep hill and were beginning to flag a lil bit. ( Not an actual flag, more like getting knackered, the ald gits 😳) But then, as they were both almost out of breath they heard a horn bellowing from behind. Mike looked around, Stu looked around and the both thought in unison….mouths agast, almost falling off their bikes ( luckily they have stabilisers on both sides of the bike )

The car behind was hitting the shite out of the horn thingy. Stu and Mike once again looked to each other and ………..and……….to be continued…….

Its gossip day so share your stuff. I’d invite Tommy bap but he’s just a tit. If not then post your music instead

Get well soon brother Jock.

G’Doc our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family both at home and in Lebanon. 👊

Hit it!