Friday Gossip & Music.

Your weekly gossip nonsense,

Its been a funny old week in the investigative world of journalism. I’ve sent a few 4KK reporter’s far and wide to cover a number of reports, beginning with the saga @CHEATS.

My undercover Manc bastard land reporter bugged Peps office a few days ago, this was obviously before CHEATS threw away a two goal lead in Paris to the French CHEATS.

Here is how a conversation went on Peps bugged telephone,

Pep, “Thanks for taking my call, Mr. Owner. I need some help. Can you cook the books again and give me £120 million to sign a few players?”

Mr. Owner, ” Why? Is it because the world has found out you’re a shite coach and can’t handle the pressure?”

Pep, “Yes…..blub, blub, blub. I don’t know what to do Mr. Owner. My ego says I’m the best coach in the world…..blub, blub, blub….but my actions on the training ground suggest I’m shite, blub, blub, blub.

Mr. Owner, “Stop crying, Pep, you over sensitive fraud. I’ll put the money in the account in the morning. I’ll have to make up a few fictional sponsorship deals, but that’s not difficult as the Premier League are as clueless as you. Now stop your whinging, sign the players and win me the Premier League and the Champions League too.”

Pep gulped and realised he’s got no chance of either and sent his CV off to Paris……. I doubt even they’d want him now after the drubbing his shower of shite received on Wednesday night.

One of my Merseyside reporters ( I have shit loads of them ) popped to the home of the BlueShite, bugged skeletor’s telephone, bought some popcorn and listened in to a WhatsApp group chat between old friends.

Rafa, ” Davey baby you’ve got to do it this time, myself and Diche tried and we did proper try, so it’s back in your hands.

Diche chirped in, “Yes David, we are relying on you to complete the job”

Skeletor, ” I’ll give it my best shot sending the BlueShite down. Hopefully I’ll be managing them next season at the shiniest stadium in the Championship”

Rafa, ” Good man, we knew we could rely on you.”

In other gossip,

Asif’s horse successfully finished his alcoholics anonymous course, though it’s not exactly anonymous with me chatting about his anonymous course……. Anyfookingway, the horse was ecstatic completing it and promptly celebrated down his local ale house.

Gossip is the food of life, says next door’s 🐈 so share some of your own goss, or simply post some music instead.

Hit it!