Friday Gossip & Music.

This is your weekly gossip & music column, which I make up as I go along…. obviously.

On Wednesday The Thunderbird said his team are shite…. We all know your team is shite, pal. Get a grip of yourself….though with second thoughts don’t get a grip of yourself. This is a family site after all.

Granny fiddler has stressed he’s suffering from anxiety due to the fact the gra minnies he cares 😲 about are all dying. No they’re not, they’ve just moved away from you, ya filthy fat bastard.

Pep the idiot has stressed he’s won it four times on the bounce. My secretary called his secretary to say, ” You’re not winning it this year, ya cheating bastards”…… I know, next doors cat swearing…..🤭… That actually shocked me too. She hardly ever swears….

In a almost live interview sir Alex Whiskey nose admitted Liverpool deserve to win the league because we are far superior than anyone else. He also said he’s always been a closet Liverpool fan…. This has still yet to be verified. I called Stu earlier to investigate. More news incoming live…ish.

In other gossip,

Asif has had a trying day. He was sat in the office playing ( I can’t say on a family site like this ) a game on his laptop on how to win sugar free stuff. I’m not sure what it was exactly but it did involve some low sugar shite called….oh..,,I can’t even bring myself to say it….. pepsi max…there, i said it.

His horse was so disgusted it ran off….to the pub……again.

Ignore those letters and numbers ⬆️ Asif’s horse was stitched up.

He likes a drink does brother Asif’s horse. I do too but only when there’s a Y in day. 🤭.

Knightsbridge Jerry has had a wonderful day, according to my tracking device that next doors 🐈 put on his Lamborghini. ( She put a tracker on his Porsche too but shush, he doesn’t need to know that yet. ) He went to Harrods to pay his credit card bill, then he went to Waitrose to buy his weekly shop. Then he got back into his Lamborghini, which was running out of petrol and went home, parking his Lamborghini next to his Porsche…..which he then got into coz it has a full tank of fuel…….

….. Jer then drove to Liverpool to wish me a happy birthday…as it’s not my birthday til October, I wasn’t in…. Obviously 🙄

Jer called Cust who then called Alan who then called Mike. Mike called Stu who then called Jock. Jock called Oscar who then called Paul. Paul called John ( he didn’t answer ) n then called Ginge. Ginge called Jock who then called Stu who once he got off of the toilet called PJ, whom didn’t answer either coz he thought it was spam. He’s probably right actually.

Dimi was called by Finchy but Dimi got out his balls…..I mean ball…of the mystic variety to explain something…..no idea what because I wasn’t invited to the fooking conversation.

Matty then called Mike. Mike said he’s busy on another call n will call Matty back. Asif then called Stu to ask where his horse was. Stu said “I don’t know but he’s probably in the pub with Red”. He’s a clever fooker is our Stu. Romps then called me to ask why plastic cups are the norm in Liverpool. I replied” Have you seen the size of my nose?”. Romps then said he understands now 🤭. Glad you enjoyed your time in Liverpool, Romps. 👊 ( The bitch didn’t fooking call me, though it would have probably helped if he had my number.)

Ata’s phone wrang but he was busy cooking a midweek roast dinner…who can blame him. On a side note I’ve ordered Duck legs ( don’t be rude ) for my roast on Sunday.

Ginge called me earlier……well she didn’t actually because she doesn’t have my number but if she did call I know her next jinxing plans are in full flow. Ginge is good at jinxing….. I’ve had two fooking colds in three fooking weeks. I blame Knightsbridge Jerry. Dunno why but if I blame Ginge she’d kick me fooking head in, according to Jock.

I’d write some more but I can’t be arsed.

Share ya gossip, music or both.

We’re gonna win the fooking league………

We are LIVERPOOL N FOOK THE REST.

Hit it!