Friday gossip & music.

Your weekly gossip & music column.

Reports leaked by another news source have suggested sightings of the lesser spotted Kate Middleton are fake 🤥. I know, fooking shocking innit 🤷.

Harry Claim is expected to sit out the very ( un ) important match against……..?????🤷 because he’s ( apparently ) fooked off in search of his missing statue. If it hides as well as he does he could be looking for quite some time.

Trent was asked who’s the best defender at Liverpool. He replied, ” Is this a trick question ⁉️” No Trent it’s quite simple really, just like Harry Claim. He’s as simple as they come.

In other gossip,

One of my roving reporters spotted Stu out cycling this morning with a lady friend, and it wasn’t his wife 🧐. My reporter tried to keep up to ask Stu who the mystery lady was but he was far too fast. Have you seen the speed of him? I’m not surprised he was banned from racing against 10 year olds. Kicking them off of their bicycle’s didn’t help matters either, but hey.

Oscar has taken up the sport of peering through people’s windows to see if they’re playing FIFA. The fella is obsessed with footy and needs his fix. He’s not yet been arrested for voyeurism but he has been threatened with a remote control on a couple of occasions.

Share your gossip here or if ya can’t be arsed then play some music instead.

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