Friday gossip & Music.

Its Friday gossip and music time.

The big news this week amongst the gossiping community has been the ‘Luxury tax’ that is going to add another nail to the coffin of not just elite football but all football throughout the pyramid.

Apparently the powers that be think it’s a good idea to give a free pass to the obscenely rich clubs to do what the fook they want. It’s all about capitalism, said the PL executive as he bundled a rather large envelope down his trousers. A gift from CHEATS and Saudi United.

Lets be honest here ( unlike the bung masters ) the game will go to shit if this happens, but hey as one wanker once said, fans are only customers and we don’t need them. Well ok then.

7 Hag had a lil dance on the touchline last night. He was so happy.

He wasn’t so happy a few minutes later, the wanker.

Its been revealed he’s looking for a longer contract. He said nobody could keep his shower of wankers in the PL like he has. He might have a point n we all hope he gets a new contract too, the wanker.

In other gossipy things,

Jer decided it would be a good idea to take the bus to his local watering hole ( that’s a public house btw) due to the fact his e- scooter blew up when it was on charge in his neighbours garage. ( Ya gotta hand it to Jer, if it’s gonna blow up it might as well blow up in someone else’s garage n not your own).

Anyfookingway, the bus turned up on time, Jer was rather pleased about that. He entered the pub n laughed at a few SkipRats, as ya do.

After several pints of refreshment

he left but not before having a proper chuckle at the few remaining SkipRats fans still in the pub.

Jer stood at the bus stop for several minutes until the bus arrived. It wasn’t your ordinary bus, it was Soops bus. I know, how did this happen 🤷. Atatürk was on the friggin bus too. Anyfookingway, Jer boarded n it was full of people and the unmistakable aroma of green plants being smoked by all. Jer was like, “Hiya Soop, WTAF are you doing in Hampshire?” Soop replied, ” How the fook do I know, we were off to Blackpool to see Mickey, I must have took a wrong turn somewhere. Where are we again?”

It was then Jer knew he had to take the wheel. Soop was in no condition to drive, for obviously obvious reasons. Soop vacated the drivers seat to allow Jer to continue their journey to fooknose where. That’s a very popular caravan park somewhere in southern England. Stu goes there all the time, apparently.

Jer suggested popping to an all night party just down the road, all cheered n said, “Hell, yeah” simultaneously. ( Next doors 🐈 speeeeled that big fooker of a word for me ).

Jer was driving, the lads were singing, happily travelling down to the all night party……..and then this happened.

After the ‘incident ‘ Jer swapped seats with next door but ones 🐕. Fooknose how he got on there🤔. Jer wisely thought it’s better the pooch was arrested rather than him. Next door but ones 🐕 called next doors 🐈 to say Jer had stitched him up.

Next doors 🐈 was like,

Next door but ones 🐕was taken away in a handcuffs, two pairs of handcuffs, arrested for driving with no licence or insurance. He did pass the breathiliser and drugs swab. He was released the next day with a fine of 25 tins of pedigree chum and banned from driving for two years. He won’t lose his job at the 4KK taxi firm coz we’ll just give him fake I,D.

True Story that btw.

If you have any gossip to share then share it fffs, if not then play some music instead.

Hit it!