Mascoteering

AN ARTICLE BY SUPERSUB

I can remember as a kid, that I knew I was too young to play for Liverpool, but I also knew that I was old enough to be a mascot.  Being a mascot was a HUGE thing back then. Some little boy (always a boy), would run onto the pitch, besides big Ron Yeats, all kitted up in the latest, ad-free, football kit which was, & still is, a classic.  I was quickly talked out of it by my Grandad, who explained that if we actually lost the game I was the ‘lucky mascot’ for, then I’d get the blame. 

That terrified me, so I backed off.  He was probably just saving himself the nagging, but he had a good point nonetheless.

There’s still kids bein mascots at games nowadays, we see them all the time, each player having a little kid alongside them.   But it’s not really the same. It all seems a bit ‘stage managed’, which it is I s’pose.   The kids don’t look as if half of their home city is gonna be out for their blood, if the game goes badly.

Here’s a fun fact.  I don’t know a lot about the set up well, but they still have child mascots at Anfield & Goodison.  I guess it still includes the usual two tickets kid/guardian, a kit for the kid, photos & all that stuff.   About 3 or 4 years ago,  Liverpool’s was (& still is) free to Junior members, at Everton, it cost just over £700 & there’s no reason to think that’s any lower today. 

The People’s Club…….????

But the one’s that really do my head in, are the ‘Official Club Mascots’ today.

Must be one of the sweatiest jobs in football.  Sod that.

Here’s a few that are a bit……….weird, to say the least.

This is West Brom’s Boiler Man.  Nothing to do with the club, or it’s history, but summat to do with some sponsorship from a local boiler company.  I s’pose it’s a few extra quid for the club.  Every little helps.

This miserable looking bugger is Scunny Bunny, Scunthorpe Utd’s mascot. Scunny Bunny once survived an online petition by Irons fans who wanted him replaced by the ‘Iron Lion’, so that probably explains the gob on it.

This suave looking couple, are Billy & Bettie Brewer, from Burton Albion.  Burton’s Ales, Brewer, very clever.  They do look like they’ve been cranking it back all day tho, so fair play to them for their dedication to their work.   Football needs more Billy & Bettie Brewers.

Yeovil Town’s Jolly Green Giant.  He doesn’t exactly look very jolly & he’s not exactly ‘giant’ either.

Just looks like a really sh!t Hulk.

And last, but by NO means least, Kingsley, from Partick Thistle.  Even without the kilt, this looks Scottish.  Designed by a bloke called David Shrigley who was, at some point, nominated for the Turner Prize.  I’m guessing (hoping) it wasn’t for this.

There’s loads of weird mascots around nowadays & some of them are really creepy & it’s sometimes beyond belief what was goin thru the mind(s) of whoever designed them.  Probably a committee in most cases….🙄 Anyone got examples of any others to share….???